February 16, 1997
I had hoped to interview Lisa Fay, a remarkable playwright and woman, for the Women's Month edition of The Octopus. Since Fay is extremely busy teaching children art, we agreed that I would interview her play, Monosyllabic Argumentation, rather than her herself.
Sigfried: In the dialog between Rick and Andy, Rick asks, “Is is is?”
Fay's Play: Yes, always, it always is.
S: “Unless it is not?”
FP: No, it even is even when it is an is not.
S: “What good is that?”
FP: That. Just that. That you say, “what good is that?” That is what good is is. It (your is) evens everything out. Makes it other. That is is useful. Is good. Is true. Is right. Is invaluable for our agreement and complicity. We are (is) honest. Right? That is good. We get along. We know where we stand. What we stand for. What side we stand on. Where we're at. What we is, and so on.
S: Hmm.
FP: You think you're special, right?
S: No! Well . . . No, definitely not.
FP: You think it's bad?
S: Yeah. I'm no more unique than anyone else. My struggles are no different from other people's.
FP: You work for a living; you fight for your country; you look out for your friends, you live for the moment; you dress for success.
S: No, that's not what I meant. I'm not a clichéd drone. I just meant that I'm like other people in important, crucial ways.
FP: Yeah, I thought so, but . . . . Well, I was just wondering what you thought. Hey, Sigfried, do you think that maybe we've been duped?
S: Of course. Everybody's been duped. . . . Wait a minute. What do you mean, duped? What exactly are you referring to?
FP: You're a good guy, Sigfried.
S: What're you getting at? I really can't see where you're going with this.
FP: Look, Sigfried, I drink Pepsi cause it's the right thing to do. Anyone can tell you that. Duh. It's the right thing to do. I do what's right. Why, you ask? Because it's good to do what's right. Simple. Further, what is simple is good, what is good is right, what is right keeps a clear conscience. I drink Pepsi so I can sleep at night and get up for work. Period.
S: I cannot go along with that! I mean, you're obviously making fun of what you're saying as you say it, but you also seem to be making fun of what I was saying in complete sincerity.
FP: You think that's bad?
S: Yeah, I do.
FP: Hey, Sigfried?
S: Yeah?
FP: You're a good friend.
S: You're a good friend, too, Lisa Fay's play.
Published in The Octopus: Champaign-Urbana's Alternative Weekly, February 16, 1997.